First time….

14 May 2011

Actually I wanted to post some of my thought yesterday, but due to error of blogger yesterday, I’ll have to share all my thought in one shoot.

Well, I’ve been through a lot of  ‘first time’ this week.

Dye my hair for the first time, work as a part timer for the first time, teaching primary kids for the first time(forget to mention it’s karate), joining JPAM for the first time.

Well, I’ll talk about my hair in the beginning. It’s been always be my dream, or I can called it as uncompleted wish since I graduated from secondary. So I decided to give it a try, a smart changes on my image. It’s brown btw…

So, I met Shirly, my ex-student(konon jak,last time trained her). She introduced me the part time job and be my mentor for that day. She’s nice, as she stayed beside me all the time( well, i’m afraid of stranger). in the end, I earned my first money after these years of being 寄生虫, although it’s only Rm3/hour.

Teaching primary kids karate would be a memory I’ll never forget. They are too…..cute to be scold…nor too naughty to be trained? Bingung sudah bahasa…. Well, overall, a great experience.

JPAM, jabatan pertahanan awam malaysia. I joined it because i can get allowance while learning. Today is the first day, we went through basic march, physical training and some intro….It’s a nice beginning and I hope I can do well in it…!

Part timer

12 May 2011

Today is my first day working as a part timer at Promenade Hotel…

Well, what can I say about this?

Erm, I felt awesome as I finally earned my money after years…. It feels great!

My friend, Shirly, be my mentor today… She’s quite good at teaching thou… I learned many things today. Although I’m a little afraid of meeting strangers…

Another thing is, the uniform…It’s…. urmm… Ugly?! No comment….

That’s all from me…Btw, eating non-stop will be part of my job….haha!

Lunch for today….

不合群的loner…

9 May 2011

The picture above shows how I felt lately. Even though I’m being pulled into the circle, but still there is something different, some obstacles that separate us away.

Probably God created me as a Loner, so that I can’t fitted into your circle of life, no matter how hard I’m trying to blend into your lifestyle.

Or maybe, I never really matter in your life, just a normal passer-by that appear only few times in your life. Well, maybe it was just my thought, which I felt I’m so meaningless.

Every time I being called to report for duty, I really hope that I can contribute toward something, that everyone think my existence is still a useful thing. But it turned out that, I have no aesthetic value at all. At least that’s what I felt.

Sometimes I have a very strong desire to quit, as I do not want to face all those political thingy, hatred, gossips, betrayal and etc. But I just can’t say no toward the one who trained me, and shaped me into where I am now.

Last but not least, I’ll keep trying to blend into the circle where I’m pulled into as hard as I can and try my best to contribute my skills, even I have zero aesthetic value at all being inside the circle.

End~~

难道是。。。中毒了？

9 May 2011

最近的我，一直想逃避一个人。

就是有一种莫名，说不出，很矛盾的感觉。看到他时，我却装着不在乎。看不到他时，却一直想着他。期待他的信息，就算只是鸡毛蒜皮的事。

我，变得不敢正视他。跟他说话，也故意把目光转到其它地方去。有他的地方，我也只好默默地离开。与朋友的对话，只要有他的名字，我就在那儿装傻。

我，好害怕。好害怕我爱上他了。好害怕这就是所谓的暗恋。好害怕被他发现。真的好害怕。。。

因为，我知道，丑小鸭永远成不了天鹅。而我这个男人婆，也配不上那么优越的他。也知道这一切的一切，在现实中不可能发生的。。。

所以呢，现在的我，也只有想尽办法逃避他，离他越远越好。压抑着对他的感觉，让他慢慢的在我心目中变淡。也许，我们保持着现有的关系，对彼此，或许是一个最好的选择。

不可思议！

4 May 2011

今天，我看见了一个不可思议的事。。。至于是什么事就不说了。。。

今天想express 一下自己的想法，与任何人无关。。。

贪，使人失去理智，做出令人难以致信的事。。。

贪，能改变一个人生，也能彻底毁掉一个人的声望。。。

为何人要贪？是因为人的本性就是贪吗？

我本人觉得，贪，在于个人思想。。。

心里又贪念，就织染会有贪污。。。

我呢，不赞成人们贪污。

如果能控制的话，也绝对不容恕贪污发生。。。

但，我只是一个平凡，又无奇的人。。。

希望有一天，贪，不会发生在我的周围。。。

有着人人不贪的环境，才能有更好的未来。。。

完~~