蚂蚁：我

12/9/12

今天的我，好不开心，好郁闷，心情很低落，简直就是跌到谷底。

最近工作很不顺利。已经九个月了，都不知自己做什么，要的是什么。

我有一个直属上司，但到了现在，还是很害怕他。自从MR CHO 走了以后，工作也起劲不来。别人把我当蚂蚁，蚊子，感觉到自己好渺小，很没用。申请的大学，也不录取我。真的好无奈。一连串的坏事，压得我喘不过气来。

好想哭，好累，好无助。

Greatest HOP!

7 June 2012

It’s September, nine months passed since i arrived here KL.

When i was first transferred to Z residence mid of March, I’m kind of worried. Worrying how I’m going survives these two years, what i will actually do at a construction site.

Everything changed when i met i him, Mr Cho, my Head of Project and my sensei. He’s the one who raised my morale, my spirit to work and learn. I wasn’t taught how to read a plan at school, wasn’t taught about PAM 2006. At here,  nobody would exactly see my existence. I am nothing, nobody, worthless. But he sees me, he knew what I’m capable of, and he taught me a lot of things. I’d stay for overtime everyday, as i knew I'm getting some precious knowledge from him.

Unfortunately, not long after i met him, he got a better job offer and had to leave. Oh, how i wished i can follow him. Now, my input is getting lesser and lesser.

Anyway, he’ll stay as the greatest HOP in my mind. Now, and forever.

2012 Resolution

3 February 2012

It’s February of 2012, and I’ve been here alone for 1 month. Living here alone is not as easy as I think it would. I missed my home, my friends, my family, the smell of my pillow, and everything at Sabah.

This year, is the beginning of my journey to become and engineer. Instead of being a real engineer, I was given a position of an ASSISTANT for an engineer. So, being stuck at this position is not really a good thing, that’s why I wanted to further my study once I’ve a chance.

Working at site is totally a different world, from what I’ve imagined. It is almost the same as my practical, but at here, there’s no muddy soil but lot of concrete dust. I was based at Intermark, under an assistant site agent. Here at Integra, I’ve met a lot of new friends, and colleagues. Then there’s an aunt who works as a site foreman, became my closest friend, just like my mak angkat.

I do not know, whether I’ll be enjoying my work here. But one thing for sure, I’ll try my best to survive, just like the cockroach.

There’s a supervisor at my practical place once said, do not care about how much u have to do, or even have to worked overtime, because it’s one of the process of learning. And importantly, I learned more than other people.

This year, I’m gonna make a lot of money. I want learn more, get more experiences. May God be with me.

Lonely birthday

3 February 2012

Yesterday was the loneliest birthday that I’ve ever have.

Nobody know it was my birthday, no red egg, no wishes(except for facebook), no cake, just a lonely cold night, walking alone in the street, just like that.

But then, before the day end, my mak angkat bought me a piece of cake, even it’s just a piece, I’m so happy to have it. :’)

离别

11 December 2011

还有十七天，我又要离乡背井了。上次的离别，对我造成了很大很大的阴影，我害怕了，真的害怕了。对未来，即憧憬，也恐惧。好希望有人能在寂寞时，能陪陪我，安慰我。。。但，这一切，都不可能实现。我，只好硬着头皮，去学习独立。独立面对，及承受困难。

Secret garden

11 December 2011

Watched a korean drama named Secret garden lately. Aigoo, how I wished I’m the Actress in that drama…!

Wondering if I’ll also have such romantic love story in the future…? Haha…

SORRY

11 December 2011

I finished my Diploma, finally! During these years, I really glad that I have met them. Without them, I’d probably will not have such happy and fun time during my college year.

Something happens that make us apart. I don’t really want it to be like this, I don’t want this kind of ending between us. I love you guys. I can’t get her forgiveness, I can do nothing. Reminiscing those great memories with you guys, making my heart more sorrow. Looking at the picture of us, I can’t continue watching it, because only heart ache I felt.